The Day I Killed Santa

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It is now 12 months since I committed the crime. It began as such an ordinary day. I was trying to clean up. When the Princess Child approached me mid sweep.

“Mum, Sam* said his mum told him Santa wasn’t real. Santa is real isn’t he?”

Now look I’ve never been comfortable with the Santa thing, it always felt, well a little deceptive.

However, Hippie Child had breezed through, figured it out and then neglected to tell me she had figured it out (no way she was giving up on extra presents). Just the way it should be deception feeding further deception.

Princess Child is a different personality type. So there I am, ambushed, no preparation, in my head I thought, she’s about to turn 11 and go into Year 5, maybe it’s time. So I answered truthfully.

Turns out it wasn’t time.

The meltdown was immediate. “But I just asked Dad, he didn’t say that”. Really, your father made the right call? Unusual. Would have been nice if he could have given me a heads-up.

So like any self-respecting millenium baby she went away and googled it. Apparently the world wide web confirmed what I had said.

“I don’t believe this, you have been LYING to me for YEARS, why would you do that?”

Yes, why indeed.

I feebly talked about imagination, Christmas traditions. I tried to draw from the recesses of my aging mind the story of St Nicholas, declared that had been a real bloke once who did good things, and it had grown into this Santa Claus thing.

“How can I ever TRUST you again?”

By this time Hippie Child was trying to help.

“I know when I found out about the tooth fairy I was really upset …”

“The TOOTH FAIRY that’s a lie too? What about the EASTER BUNNY are you gonna tell me …”

The look on my face was enough.

“NO, all of them?”

There it was, in one fell swoop I’d massacred all the representatives of  childhood magic.

My mother and Aunt Dorothy arrived for dinner. Princess Child wasn’t finished yet.

“Did you know about this?” she demanded.

Both looked desperately at the door to see if there was a clear run to freedom, but no, the usual mess, (shoes, bike, newspapers for recycling) meant it was going to be an obstacle course they couldn’t dodge with speed.

“So everybody knows. Now I’m gonna have to LIE to my children won’t I? Because that’s what everyone does.”

Well yep. Also, if you could not mention it to any of the other kids at school, just in case they haven’t had the TALK yet.

Now here we are 12 months later, I think she’s come to terms with the grief. However, being the negotiator she is, she has just reminded me that Hippie Child had an extra three years of Santa sacks to her and she wants her share. It wasn’t meant to be that way, I had said Santa didn’t come after you were 12, but because her sister was still getting stuff (and I have a Phd in mother guilt/treat all your children the same)  there had always been a little present or two at the end of Hippie Child’s bed too – mental note – stick to the darn rules!

*Name changed to protect the innocent and because I can’t actually remember what the kid’s name was anyway.

10 thoughts on “The Day I Killed Santa

  1. Such a cute post. It made me remember when my son found out there was no Santa and said “and I bet the next thing you’ll tell me is that there is no Easter Bunny!” Ah, growing up, they all go through it! Margie

  2. Lol! I guess this fateful day is inevitable for all children. And the thing is, it’s always a triple whammy, isn’t it? Lies about Santa roll on to the tooth fairy then the Easter bunny…it’s a wonder they ever recover 😉

  3. my son is 10 and he figured out last year. i told him, “of course santa is real. the spirit of giving, of love, of generosity, is real.” he looked at me slyly. but of course he still gets gifts – that’s how it is here. so now it’s just, “i really want this lego set….hint.. hint… mommmm.” mmm-hmm. thanks for the cute post, janine. big kids are fun, too, huh? joy to you!

  4. Awww…nooo! The Princess in my home is also 11 years old and she has it all worked out, from Santa to the tooth fairy. No fooling that one. Such a gorgeous post, I could read you forever – you write so well. I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Please see my blog for details. Have a wonderful Christmas.

  5. Thanks so much that is very kind. I received another nomination for the VB award this week so I won’t send it on again but I will be checking out the other blogs you have nominated and will urge others to do the same. BTW love your blog too. Merry Christmas.

  6. We have not had the conversation here. My son is twelve. Of course he knows. Not sure why he won’t bring it up. He brings EVERYTHING else up. And I’m reluctant too. Another kid killed Santa for me, and I remember the trauma so expressly (although my mom and dad were very comforting)…maybe that’s why. I need to think on how to address it so that he knows we can still have fun and the spirit is still alive. I know! I’ll get my husband to do it! And my mom made the Santa to Easter Bunny leap when she was a kid. Too funny!

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