Ten Golden Rules of Parenting

This is not the advice in the parenting books – this is advice you take when you have ditched aspirations of perfection and are simply in survival mode.

  1. Never wake a sleeping child.
  2. If they are not bothering you don’t bother them (admittedly this is how my kitchen came to be painted pink – but it was old and needed a facelift).
  3. Children don’t die from four nights in a row eating Two-Minute Noodles for dinner (they also never ask for Two-Minute Noodles again).
  4. Embrace young children’s desire to run around naked – it’s less washing and trust me by the time they get to school they will conform – peer pressure is a good thing.
  5. The Wiggles are your friends and playing their DVD’s in a continuous loop for days on end might deprive you of vital brain cells but the kids will turn out fine.
  6. A child increasing their vocabulary is a source of pride – when the words are swear words just learn to speak loudly over the top of them.
  7. Children come with their own personalities – resistance is futile – and it’s OK, gumboots with a fairy skirt and a bikini top will one day top the Paris fashion scene I promise.
  8. Today’s crisis will be tomorrow’s non-event. The fact that Sara ditched them as a friend today and wouldn’t share her ice-cream will be forgotten tomorrow when they beg to have Sara for a sleepover because she is their BEST FRIEND.
  9. Wearing your trakkie daks and Ugg boots to the shops will not actually end the world – one day you will get the energy to dress yourself properly again but it doesn’t matter if that’s not today.
  10. Whatever works for you is what you do. Breast feeding/bottle feeding – c’mon look around the room can you pick who was breastfed? Public school/private school. Stay at home/go back to work. Everyone has an opinion but it’s just that an opinion not a rule of law. It’s what makes you happy that matters.

16 thoughts on “Ten Golden Rules of Parenting

  1. Love it! I’d love to hear the full story of the pink kitchen…. 🙂
    I knew before I’d even started that I’d want to hear your parenting rules.

    • Oh yes the pink kitchen – I got distracted, Princess Child found a can of paint and did a beautiful job reworking the kitchen – she took such care on the handles – did the cupboards, the fridge and I discovered it by following the pink footprints that were dotted all over the wooden floor. There’s a reason we haven’t had a new house until now.

  2. I agree…”Today’s crisis will be tomorrow’s non-event” Should be made into a t-shirt! What a terrific list. My mom, who worked when I was a child, read once that what makes momma happy will make baby happy. *That* (not just about work) should be our mantra.


  3. I absolutely love your list!!! In fact, it could not have come at a better time for me. May I pass it along to my new-mummy step-daughter? I can relate to every point on your list from the two minute noodles to swear words to The Wiggles ( except that was then replaced by Cars on a loop). I particularly like #7 and the line…’resistance is futile’. The Princess in my house wore nothing but ballet skirts, and bikini tops for a whole year … Master 6 ( 2 back then) got around in a Storm Trooper outfit at the same time and it was a great hoot doing the shopping with these fancy dressers. Rule #4 really eased my mind as when Bieber and The Princess were 3 and 2, respectively, I could not keep clothes on them. Their father and I would dress them in the morning and then find their clothes strewn from the house to the chook pen. A friend once commented one day that she didn’t recognise my children on arrival because they had clothes on. I agree with Lauren, that phrase SHOULD be in every parenting manual, school classroom, kitchen( pink or no) in the world and would make a great T-shirt, although in my home it would be buried in a pile of ironing. I used to tell my preschooler’s mothers to do what makes their family happy and not to listen to other people’s opinions. That, and, count to ten really slowly..everything passes. You know what my house is like – we’re practically parenting twins here Janine! I love, love, looooove this post. As I sit here after 8 hours of study, with it raining heavily outside, in my pyjamas…your rule #9 is an absolute gem.

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