I Make S’Mores

The internet is a wealth of information. I’m sure if you search hard enough you could find the cure for cancer or the solution to third world hunger within its trillions upon trillions of pages of facts, figures and general whinging.

In the six months I have spent trawling the internet in my quest for blogging glory I have learnt one thing, how to make s’mores. ‘Cause I’m the kinda person who picks up on the important stuff.

Just a couple of weeks ago I didn’t know this sticky, sweet concoction existed. But today I do. Thanks to Chrystina Noel, a twenty-something blogger in Pennsylvania who for some bizarre reason finds my stories of parenting and disaster amusing (I’m probably setting her up for a life as a childless spinster too traumatised from my tales of birth and chaos to ever procreate herself).

In one blog post I mentioned Princess Child and I had bought lamingtons. Chrystina googled lamingtons and left a comment that she wasn’t sure about them at all. Later she Instagramed a photo of s’mores she had made – I gave the insightful comment that given she thought lamingtons were weird what the hell was this strange looking mixture – to satisfy me Chrystina posted a blog about mass producing s’mores.

So yesterday I made s’mores. It wasn’t pretty people.

Apparently it’s an old campfire treat, Graham crackers, Hershey chocolate bar and marshmallows. You roast the marshmallows and then squish them all together – I can see how out in the cold of the wilds this would be fun.

The first difficulty was I don’t know what Graham crackers are, Chrystina had a hard time explaining, no they weren’t really salty or sweet. But she isn’t a woman to be beaten and in a meeting with her boss’s boss (an Australian) she quizzed him on what the Australian equivalent of Graham crackers were. I love the image of this girl discarding the meeting agenda to go on a mission for a middle aged mother on the other side of the world she has never met. Her superior’s superior may not have been as entertained as me but never mind. They came up with Anise biscuits (I don’t know what they are either).

I interrogated an American friend at dinner, and he too couldn’t explain Graham crackers. We suggested a variety of aussie bikkies and he replied “no” to every one. So the table decided Chrystina had misheard the Aussie accent and it was really meant to be Nice biscuits. Never mind she graduated with a degree in architectural engineering and now travels the States as a construction consultant helping large corporations when their construction projects go over budget or over schedule. No indeed, a table of soccer mums come to the conclusion she couldn’t deal with the Aussie twang and had misheard the name of the biscuits.

Second problem, the chocolate, I may be able to get Hershey bars somewhere in Port Macquarie but obviously I lacked a bit of commitment to the project because I wouldn’t go any further than the local supermarket which is walking distance to my house. So I improvised again with a block of Aussie chocolate.

Then came the marshmallows. Again, probably shouldn’t have gone for the homebrand on special variety. Rather than the petite little pillows Chrystina used mine were, well more like giant nipples.

I than grilled them (Chrystina said she put them under the “broiler” which I’m assuming was the grill – if these yanks could just talk English it would be so much easier).

I may possibly have taken my eye of the ball slightly and left them in just a second too long. My nipples deflated somewhat, became kinda like well gooey.

So the result.  Nice biscuits aren’t a substitute Graham crackers and Chrystina probably did mean Anise biscuits – they made it a VERY sweet treat. My chocolate was a bit too thick. My marshmallows were super sized and nipple like with a tendency to spread. The verdict from the family – Hippie Child – we are not American you know, I don’t think I like them (she ate three), Princess Child – this is different – she even ate them cold later in the afternoon. Mr Shambles – don’t think this is in the Heart Smart diet but I’ll take another (think he got through four or five). I enjoyed one with my coffee very much.

I know what you are all thinking – it’s a wonder this woman doesn’t have a food blog. Aren’t you?

Thank you Chrystina for introducing us to the delights of s’mores.

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24 thoughts on “I Make S’Mores

  1. Funnily enough I saw Hershey bars in the Reject Shop recently and wondered why on earth they were stocking them. Well now I know. I reckon they were stalking your emails and saw your S’More email conversation with your fellow blogger in the U.S. of A and decided there was going to be a need for Hershey Bars in Port Macquarie soon….trouble is, they obviously forgot to tell you! They are over-rated anyway, they’re not a patch on Aussie chocolate (sorry Chrystina) which incidentally isn’t a patch on English chocolate, but that’s another story….
    On another note, think we should organise a bonfire night at my place soon before I move so the kids can toast nipples, oops sorry, marshmallows!

  2. You can’t make s’mores without graham crackers. (it’s illegal) And they are aren’t supposed to be pretty. Or nutritious. There’s no way to eat them without getting chocolate and gooey marshmellow all over your face and hands and clothing so the campfire idea is a smart idea. Anyway, if you’re still game, try typing Nabisco Graham Crackers in your web browser and maybe you’ll get a better idea of what they are and where to get them. I suppose it’s an American concoction. We’re good at coming up with stuff that taste good but is really bad for you. Good luck!

  3. Thank you for taking one for the team. I’ve always wondered what S’mores and Graham crackers were. I’m glad they were nice.

  4. I saw the tweet about this this weekend, but I was at a festival and couldn’t read it right away – so I saved it for Sunday night. Oh my goodness, where do I begin?

    I can’t believe you made them!!!! I’m so excited!!! I’m sorry that it didn’t quite work out as expected…. but from the pictures it looks like they came out pretty good…

    I’ll need to check to see if I misheard – Anise was what I heard, but that’s not necessarily what she said. I, hm… I’m sorry. They look like lovely cracker/cookie/biscuits though…

    Americans will admit to you that Hershey’s chocolate, but it is the traditional chocolate that is used in smores, probably because it’s cheap and breaks into pieces easily. I’ve made them with other kinds of chocolate, so I think you’re in the clear on that one.

    We actually did use large marshmallows, my friend Jai just ripped them in half to split them up better. The large ones are actually traditional. They’re not so nipple-like though…

    I think I might re-blog this, if that’s alright with you… I absolutely love that this happened. I’m glad you got to enjoy them with a cup of tea.

    Also, I just might have to send you a box of graham crackers in the mail…

    Thanks for making my Sunday 🙂

    • I’m sure you got the biscuit name right I just have never had them before. I reckon the Graham crackers might be like granita biscuits but I’m heading to the Reject shop if they have Hershey bars they might have Graham crackers as well. so glad you liked the post feel free to reblog.

  5. This was absolutely hilarious. I love the idea of trying to come up with an equivalent to a type of biscuit. Great writing, thanks! Love the ‘recipes that go wrong’ genre.

  6. Dear Janine,
    The true graham cracker is made with graham flour, a combination of finely-ground unbleached-wheat flour with the wheat bran and germ coarsely-ground and added back in providing nutrition and flavor. While graham crackers started out as a mild food, unsweetened or mildly sweetened, they are more commonly known as a sugar and/or honey sweetened baked good that approaches a cookie (or the British English term biscuit). Do you use the term “biscuit” for cookies in Australia?
    Hmmm, I don’t suppose that Chrystina told you to cook the s’mores on a barbie, did she? I guess that I could send you a box of graham crackers, that’s if we have any left in this house. We use them for everything, or used to. Did you know that you could make a gingerbread house (You do have gingerbread down under there) out of graham crackers? Of course it would be a square house with no windows, but it does stay together.
    Chrystina grew up with graham crackers, and I bet that she always had a box or two in her college dorm room. Don’t know if she made s’mores there at Drexel, but I think the Reverend Graham, who invented the graham cracker, was from Pennsylvania, one of the 50 states in the US.
    But one thing you can be sure of… if Chrystina made the s’mores, there would be none better anywhere, as Chrystina tends to do things to the extreme, especially cooking.
    Of course I am a bit biased, after all, she is my daughter. I used to think I taught her everything I know, but now I realize that I ony taught her 10% of what she now knows which was everything I knew at the time. It’s the other 90% that makes her so good.
    Chrystina’s dad,
    Charlie

    • Thank you so much for stopping by Charlie. And thanks for the extra info on the Graham cracker (and yes we use the term biscuit for cookies). We do have gingerbread here and I noticed last xmas that gingerbread houses were starting to become a bit of a trend. If we can’t get the bonfire happening we will definately fire up the barbie. Chrystina is absolutely lovely and I’m thrilled that she visits my blog so regularly (I think she’s hoping that I’m the worst case scenario and when her time comes to settle down and have kids she will have learnt from all my mistakes). Again, thanks for commenting, it made my day!

  7. Pingback: when social media collides and blows your mind « Chrystina Noel

  8. I wanted to let you know it’s been confirmed – she did say arnott’s nice biscuits. I guess I tried to substitute a word that I knew already in. Sorry about all the confusion – good detective skills though 🙂

  9. If they are a little sweet for your taste we add a layer of peanut butter. Or maybe you could use Vegemite. No, i am joking, stick to a nut butter! Love your idea to toast in the oven! I just bought some s’mores marshmallows that are flat squares!!

  10. I thought it nearly impossible for anyone to not have ever heard of S’mores. Maybe so, seeing that I recently brought the american campfire tradition to Mexico. My husband’s smaller cousins were just besides themselves when they went in search of sticks and had no idea why they needed sticks.

    You actually toasted your marshmellows to perfection. The kids just loved watching the marshmellows catch on fire, so they did not get to enjoy the ooey gooey goodness of how a S’more is supposed to be.
    I actually had to make a trip to the US for all the S’more basics. Graham crackers are not sold here and no one would know what they are either. The equivalent to graham crackers here are Maria’s Cookies. Whatever is used for the crust of your cheesecakes would be equal to graham crackers.

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