There’s dinner at George Clooney’s house up for grabs in a fundraising campaign for Obama.
I’ve scrounged under the cushions, in the pockets of the kid’s uniforms and through every crevice in the car and I’ve got $8.50 to put forward.
It’s got to get me in, George can’t possibly have a dinner party without me.
I bring so much to the event.
I’m a great conversationalist, I can talk about my kids for hours. Oh you’re not that into kids? Alright let’s forget I’ve got kids.
How about we go straight to the important stuff – are you in camp Jennifer or camp Angelina? C’mon I know Brad’s your pal surely you took him to one side and said Maaaaate that Angelina is trouble?
OK you are above tawdry gossip, I get that.
But I’ve got to say this rich crowd, I don’t reckon they are gonna be a lot of fun. I think you could do with someone from the wrong side of the tracks to add some light and shade to the event.
Seriously, after a couple of glasses of wine I can be highly entertaining – and if multi-millionaires can’t take a joke that’s their problem.
No, no, I promise I’ll behave, I won’t even swear. Unless they are really up-themselves and then maybe just a little bit to, you know, shock them, ’cause that could be funny.
I’ve got perfect table manners – and what I don’t know I’ll fudge my way through – but let me tell you too much cutlery is unnecessary.
When I brush my hair and slap on a bit of make-up I can be halfway presentable. Frankly, you’ve been spending too much time with high maintenance chicks who take days to get ready for a night out – 10 minutes I can be showered, dressed, made-up and out the door. Think of how much time that will save!
Remember George it’s all very well to raise millions but I hear election campaigns are expensive you don’t want to run out of cash at the last hurdle do you? This $8.50 could be the difference to getting over the line.
I reckon I’m a must-have addition to your dinner party Georgie you’ll put me on the guest list won’t you?
Whose dinner party would you like to go to?