Letting Go

Obviously writing about being sleep deprived recently meant I had to go back – just to remind myself.

Hippie Child went with a friend to a concert in Newcastle this week (that’s almost a three-hour drive from home). I found myself wandering the house wondering if I should wait up, or go to bed. They weren’t expected home until about 2.00am. Mr Shambles didn’t even consider staying up – he was tucked up in bed snoring soundly by 10pm. Why wasn’t I born a man?

I wallowed in my procrastination until 11.30, went to bed but left my door open and the lights on so I could hear her when she got home.

Lying there I pictured the next few years, here I am worrying about her being on the highway, worried about being late home, just worried. Ridiculous. She was with the parents of her friend, my friends! God help me when I wave her off in a car full of “P” plate drivers to head to parties where there will be alcohol. I may have to take up meditation or Valium!

They got home at 1.00am, she had a brilliant time, she was freezing cold (why did she decide to wear a t-shirt in winter), when she hears I’ve put the new quilt on her bed and turned on the electric blanket I get a hug (not a frequent occurrence, you’ve got to earn your hugs from this kid).

I had no idea who the bands were she went to see, I’d never heard of them. The next night I watched the Diamond Jubilee concert from London. The first section (barring Robbie Williams) were young, hot performers I had  also never heard of, you know you are getting old when you are hanging out for Elton John’s set just so you’ll know the words to the songs!

Next year Hippie Child will need driving lessons. Driving lessons for a child that still can’t remember what buttons to press to get the dishwasher started! We came to the mutual decision some time ago that I will have no involvement in teaching her to drive. The decision was arrived at during a particularly unpleasant dodgem car experience, it seems I don’t like not having control of the steering wheel, I also don’t like hitting other vehicles (again a bit of a problem on the dodgems). I am investigating a second mortgage for professional lessons, if that fails Mr Shambles over to you!

In the early hours of a winter morning as my mind fast forwarded to the possible challenges of the next few years I began to feel a certain nostalgia for the teething and toilet training years. A future of letting go looms large. After all that’s what you are supposed to do – having wished for your own freedom for so long you suddenly realise they must achieve their own independence to secure yours.

(Hippie Child just asked what I was writing about I told her- oh god mum, you can’t be serious, it’s like the time when I was 11 and wanted to go the movies with my friend without parents – you were worried the cinema would burn down and you wouldn’t be there to rescue me – you are going to have to get over this!)

In the meantime I googled Lisa Mitchell and Georgia Fair and now I know the bands Hippie Child saw at the concert.

Here’s Lisa Mitchell.

And here’s Georgia Fair

6 thoughts on “Letting Go

  1. Ah Janine, the many stages of parenthood…and I am so so many stages behind you! I must say, I do know sleep deprivation very well now. Enjoying your blog 🙂

  2. I remember those days with my son. Now he’s 27 and I still freak out when I don’t know what he’s doing and forget driving, forget on the highway, forget getting any sleep, forget peace of mind. I’m still trying to learn how to deal with being a mom. Dads? Another story. 🙂

  3. My girl turned 18 not long ago and I totally get where you are coming from.I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I know she is out on the roads at night.I think it is because we see so much horror car incidents on tv these days.Is frightening.
    I miss the days of her childhood where I could protect her and she was baby girl,yet I know she needs to go out in the world and make her own life.
    Being a mum is so very hard and though we mums say how difficult it is when our kiddies are young I dont think it gets easier as they get older it just gets different.Every stage has its own challenges.We never stop worrying about them no matter how old they are.
    Big understanding hugs xx

  4. It’s a mother’s job to worry. Thank goodness you weren’t born a man. 🙂 So much to look forward to in the years to come… even if it involved more worrying. I love Lisa Mitchell – she was a contestant once on Australian Idol years ago. She was too alternative and cool to win that comp! Beautiful voice. xx

  5. Ah – the waiting up thing. My curfew was always obnoxiously early, so my parents didn’t have much difficulty staying up until then. Also – in Hippie Child’s defense, some technology is just very difficult to use (like potentially dishwashers) – my dad bought a new tv while I was away at school and I went home and was watching tv and I TRIED to raise the volume…. the whole tv turned to the right. Fail.

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